Of Monkeys and Pineapple Pies

I'm a late bloomer when it comes to Subic. The first time I went there was, oh, maybe seven years ago. We drove down there to visit the then newly-opened Ocean Adventure, where I got a kiss from a seal and one of the resident False Killer Whales (miss her). I always thought it was rather... quiet, Subic. As soon as nighttime falls, I sort of fall into this weird mood--a little sad, feeling a little left of center. If I didn't have company, and the promise of more things to explore in the morning, it probably would not have been worth it. The first time we were there we were a little freaked out. Someone had told us how strict the SBMA police were about traffic violators that we were driving with a stick up our asses. Ed, my hunny, more so than most of us. He hadn't been there before either, much less driven around there. We slept in this hotel (affordable by our standards!) up at Cubi Point that looked like a deserted mental asylum. If there weren't four of us, and if there were no TV, I'd have convinced everyone to pack our bags and go back home. We'd simply drive down again in the morning. Impractical, yes. Life preserving, definitely.

Our first night there, our host (the PR for Ocean Adventure then) took us to this steak place, up a road where there were no street lights. I was surprised there was even an establishment up there, and more so that they were open. What a dreary affair. I'm sure the place is gone now, but I do recall us almost driving off the road (because we couldn't see the sidewalk) . The following day, our companions decided to play a trick on us by getting up early and banging on our door. Problem was, it wasn't our door! It was some poor guy's room! Rudely awakened and probably scared as hell, our friends heard him ask who it was from inside the room and, realizing their mistake, they bolted! I'm sure he had better names for them than "jerks."

Our stupid adventures in Subic did not end there. We had gone back there about two and a half years ago with better friends and once again, the dreariness was surpassed only by a feeling of utter disbelief. Our host then, a well-meaning, really nice guy from this hotel chain we're staying at (not the haunted asylum place anymore) took us "clubbing," for a lack of a better word. We ended up in a gay bar, with female impersonators singing "It's Raining Men" and some rich dudes (who probably couldn't get it on with real women) slipping Php1000 bills into their string bikinis. Great, right? And to think my hunny, almost deaf as he was by then due to the whole unbelievable turn our trip had taken, even thought he was propositioned by our host. It was a misunderstanding... but that bit kept us laughing back in our hotel room for a very long time (tears were literally streaming down our eyes!). The next day we drove to Clark for the Hot Air Balloon Festival and again, he thought the toll gate girl was flirting with him. But give the guy a break, all of us in the car heard the same thing: "Seksi niyo sir..." as opposed to what she really said, which was "Sa Exit niyo sir (bayaran)..." What the hell, hun?

Oh, and we were almost attacked by the monkeys up at the Point. I know, we really should have heeded the signs not to feed them. But they were cute (and I say this despite the fact that I don't really like monkeys to begin with). One even wiped her mouth with the tissue paper that she got from us when she took the food. We have that picture too, but we'd have to dig up our old files so just take my word for it. Anyway, all the other monkeys seemed chill when we were feeding a few. But after some time, the ones farther out started advancing, and were becoming a little menacing. One even tugged on my friend's pants; a few others hissed and bared fangs. Then we realized, the Alpha Male had finished eating, and it was time for the rest to eat. And boy, were they mean. We ran to our cars like fools. All the while thinking by the time we could get the door closed, one of them would have beaten us inside and attacked us all! Moral lesson: pineapple pies and monkeys don't go well together. So not funny! But at least that year I held a tiger for the first time in my life... and everything that went wrong just melted away.

Suffice it to say that after all that, we had some misgivings about going back to Subic. But when we came back late last year, things had started to look up. For one, Waterfront Road is much more developed now... and towards the end of it, to the far right if you're facing the bay, stood a beacon of light. Red and blue, alternately, but inviting just the same.

The place is called The Lighthouse. Indeed, a boutique hotel with a small lighthouse. It does nothing for the ships, really, but alluring for tourists. We love this place not only because they were kind enough to approve our request for a stay, we enjoyed being there. No, scratch that--the stay was a Godsend. The rooms are cozy, the beds are lovely, pillows are fluffy, the food is good, the pool to ourselves (that time) and the staff is great! And, each room has a giant LCD TV! They have four kinds of rooms, and some, curiously the twin sharing rooms (Aqua Terrace, I think), come with a bathroom with a glass wall. As in, let's just say from the tub you could watch your partner zonked out in bed and catch your favorite show on TV. It is freaky if you end up sharing the room with someone other than your partner, but for couples it's right and dandy! You must stay there if you have the chance, if only to chill out in comfort while you await the turn of the day to get on with your other adventures like jetskiing (that you could rent from a place at the Waterfront), going jungle survival training, or visiting Zoobic Safari (go visit my tigers!).

I've rambled long enough about Subic... so I'll probably write up something better for The Lighthouse in another entry (God knows the place deserves it). It's just, I'm happy that if and when I do find Subic calling out to me again, I know there's a place I can stay at that would not depress the hell out of me and let me bask in the rejuvenating power of a good weekend getaway.